1-20 | 21-40 | 41-60 | 61-80 | 81-101

  1. Double your car's sale value and credibility by fitting a matched set of Totoro seat covers, available in a variety of colors and styles.
  2. In these days of reduced sexual freedom, be safe having fun between the sheets with a Totoro condom!
  3. Heston, Bronson, and Reynolds -- few of the dozens of Hollywood stars who have increased their masculinity tenfold. How? By stapling a Totoro to their sternum for a growth of hair that makes Rambo look like Sarah Greene.
  4. Don't let your brollies be ruined by careless storage: just hollow a Totoro and punch drainage holes in it's lower surfaces. With this handsome umbrella stand in your hallway it will always be a pleasure to come in from the rain.
  5. A handsome hood-ornament can easily be added to your car with the aid of a Totoro and some silver spray-paint.
  6. Look carefully at the Predator's trophy cabinet in Predator 2. Right in the centre is the most stylish prize of all ... the skull and spine of a Totoro takes pride of place.
  7. Postmen, bus drivers, and other professionals of notoriously bad eyesight will find Totoro-eye spectacles invaluable: simply de-eye your Totoro with a teaspoon and mount the orbs in steel frames for 20-20 vision.
  8. Large Totoros are ideal for professional conversion into Formula-1 racing vehicles, needing only a V12 engine and four Goodyear tyres. Watch Damon Hill sweep the field next season with a car that is impervious to impact!
  9. Telly addicts who have encountered such stars as Jeremy Beadle and Michael Barrymore on their screens will appreciate the value of a Totoro bolted to a stout leather strap and used as a sound-proof gag.
  10. Keep your kitchen safe and tidy with a Totoro utensil holder.
  11. Draughty weather can play havoc with your home. Many accidents are caused each year by doors slamming shut without warning. A soft yet sturdy Totoro doorstep will eliminate any such possibility.
  12. For those who find it impossible to put up with tacky plastic or concrete gnomes in their gardens, the Totoro garden ornament will provide a welcome alternative. Available in all good garden centres.
  13. Beheaded and hollowed with a spoon, a small Totoro makes an ideal basket for eco-conscious cyclists.
  14. Two identical Totoros are all you need for a cheap yet fun pair of bedroom slippers. Remember to shave the lower side bald before walking on newly-polished floors.
  15. Get ready for the latest fashion accessory from the catwalks of Paris and Tokyo -- Totoro handbags in a variety of colors and fur lengths.
  16. If your Totoro is merely comatose, glue it to the front of your bicycle as a horn to replace that tired bell. The current from a twelve volt battery should be enough to evoke a piercing howl from all but the most moribund animal.
  17. Anything to declare? Avoid all those tedious airport duties and pornography laws by hiding your "special goods" inside an innocent Totoro cuddly toy. After all, who would think to look?
  18. The furry and rotund Totoro will enhance many sporting activities when used as a ball.
  19. Keep your cuppa stewing for hours with a Totoro tea cosy.
  20. Professional television sound-engineers the world over swear by Totoros as microphone wind-mufflers.


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This page last tampered with on March 6th, 1996 by Kanji T. Bates / bates@jurai.net.

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