Domain of the Deathmobile
Designation: 1996 Pontiac Grand Am GT, AKA Hellcat V, AKA Deathmobile
Class: Medium sedan/Medium fighter
Role: Transportation/Medium Support Fighter
Weapons: None/2 ion cannons, 2 particle cannons, 6 Image-recognition
missiles/A nasty attitude
Maneuverability: Average/60 dps of yaw, pitch, and roll/Reallyreally
nimble for her size
I think it shows that I'm something of a Wing
Commander fan. Anyway, if you really want to know what happened
to the old Skylark, read on. If not, you know where the back button
is.
-
December 30, 1995. After repeated stalls on major roads and having
been informed that my transmission won't last longer, I reluctantly trudge
over with Dad to Howard Pontiac.
-
Ernie Bell, one of the salesmen, shows me both a Sunfire and a Grand Am.
I test drive both of them, finding that the Sunfire is stiff as hell when
it comes to handling. With the Grand Am, it's practically love at
first flight.
-
After much haggling, Ernie accepts my trade-in and hands me the keys to
the Grand Am. With a mournful goodbye, I clean out the old car and
unceremoniously dump the contents into the new car.
-
The car is officially nicknamed Hellcat V, after the all-purpose fighter
in Wing Commander 3 and 4. The Hellcat (both the car and the fighter)
isn't a particularly fancy car, but it does the job with a little bit of
kick. It's also fairly nimble. I can remember the times when
I've just barely squeaked through a lane, with about an inch of
clearance on either side.
However, it hasn't been all fun and games. On December 26, 1997,
I had a nice little crash-up which left the Hellcat with a broken drivers-side
headlight and some fender damage. After almost a month in a pitiful
little Toyota (hey, that was all my insurance would cover!), the Hellcat
finally returned. Sure, she squeaks a little bit more now and again,
but she still has it when I need it.
For a more updated picture of me and Hellcat, click here.
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