Love's Reflections

        There are many ways to distract the mind from life's worries and
problems.  Some people like to spar, venting their frustrations through 
physical activity.  Others compose and perform music, giving voice to 
their concerns through song and tune.  Some play games, or try to work out
mental puzzles to hone their minds.  Others write poetry or short stories, 
sorting their feelings with pen and paper.  And of course, some choose to 
lose themselves in sexual intercourse with another person, drowning out 
higher thoughts with mutual action and sensation.
        I had tried all of the above activities at one time or another, 
and many others, but my preferred method of coping was to create works of 
art.  Painting, drawing, sculpture, Trump; the medium didn't matter.  As 
long as it involved both hand, heart, and mind, it could satisfy my needs.
        And so it was that I was currently in my personal art studio on 
the fourth floor of Castle Ember, working on a pair of Trump Sketches for
my youngest daughter, Kanna.  My pen moved smoothly over the cardstock
as I invoked the power of Trump, binding the psychic impressions I had 
gained with my study of the two swords Kanna had presented to me into 
solid form within the sketches.  I could have easily made a pair of Trump 
Cards with those impressions, but I understood my daughter's concerns.
The sketches were meant to serve as a way to retrieve the blades in case 
they were stolen or lost, in the case of emergencies, not to allow fulltime
access to anybody who came across them.
        Not that I needed the cards anymore.
        I finished the sketches, and looked down at the images I had drawn.
        The card in my left hand depicted a butter knife at a place 
setting on a table; rather plain as far as such knives went, though made of
a good, strong metal.  What was notable about this knife was that, in 
comparison to the other utensils on the table, it was nearly four feet 
long, from the tip of the blade to the end of the handle.
        The second card, in my right hand, depicted a more normal blade;
a basket-hilted cavalry saber, its blade long but slightly curved, the 
guard a plain but functional gold metal.  However, this sword was more 
than it seemed; I had somehow managed to depict the constantly shifting 
rainbow shimmer that played along its face and edges, even though I had 
used a black pen on white paper.
        I frowned, slightly.  There was something... familiar about that
sword; I couldn't put my finger on it, but looking at "Beryllina", as 
Kanna had named it, reminded me of something else deeply buried in my 
memories.  But I couldn't immediately figure it out, so I shelved the 
notion I had to contact Kanna to ask her more about it.  She would tell 
me, in time, if it was warranted.
        I returned my attention to the first card sketch, the one with 
the Knife on it.  It made sense, as Kanna said, for there to be three 
items imbued with the Powers that helped define our Reality... I myself 
had held the Spoon of Dworkin, that which had removed the Serpent's Eye in 
another universe (and ours as well?  who could say?).  The Spoon had great 
powers to enforce Order over Chaos, as had been demonstrated during the 
assault on the Keep of the Five Worlds and on Kolvir during the Second Day 
of Darkness.
        I wondered if Juri of Avalon still held it.  I did not know the 
specifics of her time in that Outsider-dominated Hell, or of her return to 
Avalon, but I hoped that at least she had managed to keep a hold of that 
artifact.  A memento of the adventures we had shared together, beyond the 
powers it could grant.
        Given how obsessive Juri had been about the Spoon in the final 
days, it would take a lot of doing to pry it from her fingers.  But the 
Outsiders were no normal opponents, and no doubt they would look upon ANY 
artifact that had such destructive potential as the Spoon (and, I 
suspected, the Fork, wherever that was) with greedy eyes and tentacles.  
The better with which to destroy the Icons of Power that helped define our 
reality.
        I sighed.  No, it would take something as potent as the Knife to 
help deal with the Outsiders on a level I could comprehend.  According to 
Kanna, it had the power to kill Outsiders very, very dead... and to allow
travel between the realities, though she hadn't sounded fully clear on all
the specifics on the Knife's use.
        I looked at the sketch of the Knife again.  
        It was tempting, I admit, to try and use the sketch to make 
contact with the Knife, to pull it into my waiting hands for further study 
and possible use.  But I didn't, for several reasons.  For one, it would 
be a violation of the trust my daughter had placed in me, to fulfill her 
goals her own way, on her own and not with a meddling mother getting in 
the way.  For another, Kanna would probably need the Knife more than I in 
the days to come, for dealing with the Taylors, the Herald Candidates, the 
Outsider Constructs, and their assorted minions.  And finally, the Trump 
Sketches themselves were only of limited use, containing only a finite 
amount of Trump Energy within them.
        No, to weild the Knife would not be my path.  As much as I wanted 
to help on the front lines, my place was now coordinating an entire 
Kingdom's resources to aid those in the trenches, to hold the line when 
the next crisis boiled over.
        And if the visions Motoko and Beowulf had recently experienced 
were any indication, the pending crisis would make the Second Day of 
Darkness look like a night's sleepover.  Another universe, close to our 
own yet so different, led by an Abyss Demon who had managed to subvert the 
older members of my family, up to Makoto, using them as her undead pawns?  
At first hearing it sounded like a horror-story fantasy, a way to scare us 
into worst-case scenarios.
        But horror stories had a way of coming true, I had found.  The 
lessons of the Annadil Crisis were still fresh in my mind, the reports of 
the abilities of the Taylors and the Outsider Constructs still readable on 
my desk.  We couldn't afford to take chances; time was fleeting until High 
Summer, and there was still a lot to do before the Day of the Dead, to 
make sure that we would not be stabbed in the back when Hel's armies tried 
to invade our universe...
        ... led by Eowyn, Juri, Catherine, Haruka Minor... 
        ... and myself.
        I tried to supress a shudder, and failed; the reports of Hel's 
generals being that universe's versions of myself and my sisters were 
something I desperately wished I could discount.  But too much information 
had already been collaborated that led to the tactical analysis that our 
forces would have to face the five mature children of Haruka, weilding 
Patternblades and Unicorn Spikards tuned to the five Elements.  If there 
was a way to confirm this analysis safely, I would take it; if there was a 
way to free them from Hel's control, I would spare no resource in wresting 
their souls from her grasp.
        But there were no safe ways to do so, not as far as I knew.  Not
without accepting the risks of the Cave of Worlds or the Knife to cross 
between the universes to -truly- scout the Land of the Dead, while avoiding
Hel's agents and Outsider influences.  Until such a risk was taken, or 
some other method of transit was found, we would have to make do with what 
resources we currently had.
        Admittedly, the combined power of Amber and Ember was nothing to 
sneeze at.  Our family was large, and skilled, and there was enough of us 
to travel Shadow and take down threats as they occured while still 
maintaining a full defense back home.  And Miki and Motoko were currently 
down in Chaos, working on alliances with the Great Houses, so that when 
the Day of the Dead came to pass, we would hopefully have the assistance 
of the Courts as well.
        (It briefly occured to me that Ember would need to send a 
diplomatic mission of some sort down to the Courts of Chaos as well; but 
for now, Miki was doing most of the legwork for Amber.  Hopefully we would 
be able to use his work as a foundation for our own efforts.  I made a 
mental note to talk to Funaho about it in the coming days, to see what 
angles could be finessed to our benefit.)
        But that didn't stop me from wishing that my sister Juri... either 
of them... was here to help.  We could use every nimble blade and skilled 
tactical mind we could get, and Juri of Amber and Juri of Avalon were two 
the best I had ever known.
        I sighed, closing my eyes as I shifted my trump sketches into my 
left hand.  My blood-sister, Juri of Amber, was to all reports currently 
leading the fleet of Cathuria, patrolling the borders of our universe in 
preparation for the Day of the Dead.  This had been reported by Morgan,
the child of my niece, Hiko, who had supposedly managed to -meet- Juri in 
Cathuria itself!  While a part of me desperately wanted to believe that 
this had occured, later actions on Morgan's part led me to doubt if she 
had really been that skilled to reach our Juri.  
        I knew that the story of Morgan meeting with Juri had galled Kanna 
considerably, too.  After all, recovering my sister had been one of my 
daughter's life goals as well, and to have it accomplished so effortlessly 
by someone else when Kanna had expended so much time and effort to find 
her (even so far as to have hung from -Yig-, of all places), was a sour 
pill to swallow.  It had certainly not made her inclined to be charitable 
towards Morgan in the general, and for my youngest daughter, that took 
some doing. 
        But perhaps Kanna would still be able to meet her Aunt Juri for 
herself, before the crisis hit.  After all, -somebody- had to go and tell 
Juri what we were planning on our end.  If Kanna was able to get her hands 
on Merehallow somehow, and find a replacement Phoenix's egg, then she 
would succeed where Morgan had dropped the ball.
        At least there -was- a chance, however remote, for Kanna to meet
Juri, before all this was over.  Retrieving my other sister, my 'sister-in-
spirit', Juri of Avalon, in a timely fasion seemed naught but a pipe dream.
She was not just seperated from us by the vagarities of Shadow, but by the
barriers between the universes themselves.  And according to Shizumaru and 
Moriya, she and her husband Roderick, her brother Gideon, and her daughter 
Horatia had spent sixteen years in a universe where the Outsiders had 
taken over, barely holding the line in a place called the 'Keep of the 25 
Worlds'.  No, calling on her now after having managed to escape that hell 
would be an injustice to them all.  They had earned their respite in 
Avalon, and I privately wished them well.
        But that still didn't stop me from wishing she was here with me.
Our adventures across the universes had been an eye opener for us both, 
and fighting alongside her during the Annadil Crisis had been an honor.  
We had worked together in a way that I wished I and and my sister had been 
able to do more often, uniting to smite our common foes with grace, elan, 
and much kicking of butt.  If it had not been for her, I likely -would- 
have snapped when Juri had dissapeared near the Rebma Vortex, or at least 
been unable to participate effectively during the final days of the Crisis.
        Good Unicorn and Pyricorn, I missed Juri of Avalon.
        I opened my eyes again, and looked around my art studio.  It was 
one of the few refuges I had left to me, now that I was Queen of Ember.  
The rest of the castle and kingdom was open to the public eye, but here I 
could give vent to my worries and fears in a solid form, as well as to my 
hopes and dreams.  "Uneasy rests the head that wears the crown" was a 
maxim that I had come to understand all too well in the decades since my 
acceptance of the Queenship of Ember.
        I yawned, and felt frustrated.  My thoughts were doing nothing to
soothe my head and heart, and I was getting tired as well.  I needed to 
rest, and soon, for there was a lot that would need doing in the coming 
weeks, and a tired Queen was a foolhardy Queen.
        I yawned again, and sighed.  Slipping the sketches into the pocket
of my queenly rainment, I got out of the chair I had been sitting in, and 
put my art supplies away.  Thus satisfied with the state of the room, I 
left the studio for my bedroom quarters.

        When I got to my bedroom my husband, the Red Knight, was already
there and waiting, clad in a pair of red silk pyjamas that I had bought 
for him several years prior.  I smiled at him, we exchanged pleasantries,
and I got down to the business of getting ready for bed myself.  I removed
the trump sketches of Knife and Beryllina from my jacket pocket and placed
them in my small bedroom safe, underneath the drawers of my dressing-table.
I opened one of my wardrobes, pulled out my customary nightgown, and 
draped it over a back of a chair; I then proceeded to strip out of my 
queenly garb, placing my tiara back in its wooden case and the jacket, 
skirt, and pants back in the wardrobe.  I chatted with Carl as I did so, 
filling him in on the day's events after our breakfast with Beowulf.  My 
underwear got tossed into the nearby clothes hamper for later cleaning, 
and then I pulled my nightgown on, its silverly cloth brushing against my 
skin with a soft, hushed whisper of silk on flesh.  With a yawn, I headed
to the master bathroom to take care of my evening's toiletries, and then
returned several minutes later, refreshed and ready for bed.
        I joined Carl beneath the golden silken sheets of our four poster
canopied bed, curling up next to him and reassured by his proximity and
warmth.  I reached over to my nightstand, and pressed a control; beyond the
bed, automated shutters quietly slid into place over the bedroom windows, 
dropping the room into a hazy twilight glow.  It could never be truly dark 
in my chambers, but it was better than eternal light, and I had adjusted 
to this state of things, anyway.  A gentle kiss was exchanged between the 
two of us, and then I rolled over on my side of the bed, and tried to fall 
asleep.
        I found that achieving sleep was proving to be more difficult than 
I thought it should be.  My mind continued to twist with thoughts, fears, 
and concerns that had been brought up during the day, mixing with my own 
feelings of inadeqacy and impotence, combining to form a whirlwind of 
jumbled impressions and half-formed ideas that I discounted as soon as I 
came up with them.  No matter what I came up with, no matter what options 
and people I considered to help, the end conclusion seemed inescapable -- 
the Day of the Dead was going to be extremely messy, any way that you 
sliced it.
        I tossed and turned on my side of the bed, trying to keep out of 
Carl's way so as not to disturb his own slumber.  However, he must have 
noticed something was amiss (probably it was the fact that the bedsheets
were slowly starting to gather around me like a coocoon, thanks to my 
motions), for the Red Knight shifted in his place next to me, and ran a 
hand along my arm.  "mmm... Corrine?"
        "Mrf?" I intelligently replied, still drowsy but unable to achieve
the sleep that I craved.  I rolled over to face Carl, drawing closer to 
him in the process.  "What?"
        "What's wrong?" he asked, looking down at me with those handsome
amber eyes of his.  "You've been tossing and turning for the past hour...
what worries you?"
        I made another grunt of acknowledgement, my eyes blinking to 
regain focus and some semblence of awareness.  "It's this entire 'Day of 
the Dead' thing, Carl," I finally replied.  "As much as I want to believe 
that we'll triumph unreservedly, the practical side of me bluntly points 
out that we're operating on damn too little information to be sure.  The
whole Outsider Construct mess and the troubles down in Chaos don't help 
matters any."  I sighed, frustration written on my face.  "We've got 
people working on what tasks we can, but I'm worried that we won't have 
enough to take care of it all before Hel's legions try to cross over."
        The Red Knight nodded, and pulled me closer, into his arms.  "And
as much as you wish you could call on your allies across the universes,
the practical concerns of the moment outweigh the risks we'd have to take
to get them on such short notice."
        "Yeah," I admitted, somewhat embarrased that my husband had been 
able to divine my wishes so easily.  But then again, he -was- my husband, 
and he knew my heart about as well as I knew my own.  "Ishmael and Rose
would steamroller the damn Constructs, if they and their friends didn't 
manage to convince them outright that they'd work a lot better for us than 
against us.  Roderick and Gideon could probably ferret out the rest of the 
Blood Taylors and put 'em out of their misery, and Juri'd just relish the 
chance to use Eternity's Rose on the Herald Candidates."  I let out a 
little snort.  "Hell, while we're wishing for impossible things here, why 
don't I drop a line to Demetrius and have him fish the White Knight out of 
the Abyss?"
        "Well, I do admit that getting the White Knight back -would- be a 
good idea," Carl pointed out, looking somewhat bemused.  "Though it could 
possibly take too long for us to retrieve him before the crisis passes."
        I nodded, shifting in my place so that I was resting more on the 
pillows and headboard, no longer trying to sleep.  I drew up my legs,
wrapping my arms around my knees as I looked down at my feet, and over at 
the Red Knight, who still lay next to me.  "Dammit, even ONE of them here
would reassure me enough that I'd be able to rest knowing that our enemies 
couldn't have possibly accounted for their appearance, but the chances of 
that happening are infinitesimal."
        "So, you'd be able to sleep better if, say, Juri of Avalon was 
around?"
        My lips curled upwards into a soft, sad smile.  "Oh, definitely,
Carl..."  I then blushed, embarrassed.  "That's not to say that your 
presence here doesn't help, either, I just mean..." I tried to explain, 
but my husband just smiled at me, and rested a hand on my arm.
        "I understand what you mean, my Queen," he replied, looking up at
me.  "And while I might not be able to bring her here for you, I think I 
could manage the next best thing."
        "Oh?"  I blinked, curious.  "And what might that be?"
        Carl paused for a moment, as if he was gathering his thoughts, and 
then continued in a soft voice, "I could change my form so that I became 
Juri of Avalon for you."
        "-What-?!"  I stared.  "... are you -serious-, Carl?" I asked in 
a hushed whisper.
        The Red Knight nodded, quietly.  "Yes, I am, Corrine."
        "But... but... you don't -have- to...," I stammered, dumbstruck.
"I... I mean, I'm just having troubles getting to sleep 'cause of all 
that's going on, that doesn't mean I need Juri of Avalon in my bed to help 
me -get- to sleep..."
        "Yes, you do.  I could tell."  Carl chuckled, softly.  "What sort 
of husband would I be if I didn't take care of my wife's needs... and I do 
mean -all- of her needs?"
        "Just like every other husband in Reality?" I replied 
automatically, but my heart wasn't in the joke, still in shock over all 
the implications that my love's proposal represented.
        My husband looked rueful, and a little embarrassed as well, a 
slight pinking of his cheeks adding to his tanned skin.  "Well, not every 
husband would be willing to shapeshift into the only other form that you
found safe and sexually desireable, Corrine.  But it's clear to me that if 
my current body is not enough to help you rest and relax, perhaps Juri of 
Avalon's will succeed where this one failed."
        I nodded mutely, eyes still wide with surprise and shock.  It had 
been a long time since the last time the subject had come up, and I still 
remembered the circumstances of its occurance all too clearly...

***

        It had been an 'evening' much like this one when Carl and I had 
come to the realization that my feelings for Juri of Avalon had become 
more than just 'sisterly'.  I had spent most of the day involved in the 
day-to-day business of the Kingdom of Ember, dealing with the minor 
crisises that cropped up when trying to run a nation centered among one
of the major poles of existance.  The Shal-Mar raiders had been making 
a nuisance of themselves again; while our plasma and lava navies were 
certainly capable of handling mere pirates, I found myself wishing, not
for the first time, that my sister Juri was still around to give advice
and help defeat them.
        As such things often did when my thoughts turned to that of my
older blood-sister, my mind wandered to the memories I had of Juri of 
Avalon as well.  They had been so alike, yet so -different- in their 
temperments, that they seemed two sides of the same coin.  They were two
distinctly different individuals, but at the same time there were enough 
similarities between them to make knowing them both very worthwhile.
        Is it any wonder I had grown as close as I had to Juri of Avalon?
Thrown together by the whims of the Questing Beast, we had changed from
aquaintences to friends, from friends to family members.  The events of
our cross-universal pursuit of the MacFinndos, the Logrus Squid, and the 
Annadil Crisis had forged us together, strong enough that I was able to
go on even when Juri of Amber had been lost to us at the Rebma Vortex.
        But such thoughts did not help to alleviate my melencholy mood.
No amount of wishing or wistful thinking would bring them back to me.  I
ate the dinner meal in the privacy of my personal dining room, then 
retreated to the library next to my office.
        My private library held the books that were of particular 
importance to me.  Histories of Amber and Ember, my annotated copies of 
the various books of prophesy I had encountered over the years, treasties
on trump and artwork, fiction stories from Amber and Shadow that I had 
always liked, documentation on the constructs I had built and examined 
over the years, and assorted writings by my family members, among other 
things.
        I brushed my fingertips against the spines of the books in my
personal library, reflecting on the words and thoughts stored within them.
Many of them were well-worn, courtesy of decades of reading, but well-
cared for, the best destiny for any book.  As expected, the ones written
by my blood-sister, Juri of Amber, and my spirit-sister, Juri of Avalon,
held places of honor within my shelves.
        My sister's military writings about the various campaigns she had
been in over the centuries resided here, as well as her treatise on Amber, 
Shadow, Chaos, and other universes, "Thoughts on the Nature of Reality".
Juri of Avalon's writings on the Keep Assault and the Second Day of 
Darkness also rested here, hurredly written but no less detailed than 
those of my sister.  Both authors displayed keen insight into the events 
they had experienced, even if their narrative voices were slightly 
different.
        And then, of course, there was The Book.
        If there was one single thing that more appropriately highlighted 
the differences between Juri of Amber and Juri of Avalon, I could not 
think of it.  Unless my blood-sister had been holding out on me, I had 
serious doubts that she would have -ever- written a lesbian foreplay book,
never mind one so explicit, comprehensive, thoughtful, and detailed as the 
one Juri of Avalon had written for me after the Assault of the Keep of the 
Five Worlds and the Annadil Crisis had been completed.
        (Admittedly, the latest versions of The (Abridged) Book had been
amended by Juri of Avalon shortly before her departure from our universe,
drawing upon her recent experiences with her husband and lover, Roderick of
that other Amber, but the overall bulk of the book still dealt with woman-
on-woman sexual practices.  Not that this was necessarily a bad thing; for 
after all, who else but a woman could teach even a man what was fun for a 
girl?  All it took was a willingness to experiment to adapt the techniques 
for man and woman, and Carl and I certainly never had cause to complain...)
        My fingers lingered above the spine of The Book.  Set upon by a 
fit of pique, I pulled it from the shelf and headed over to one of the 
easy chairs to sit down and read.
        It was a matter of personal pride that among all the copies of The 
Book that existed in our universe, I was the only one who had the 
original -handwritten- version by Juri of Avalon, the master edition from
which the remaining transcriptions had been made.  What it lacked in 
illustrations and typesetting it made up for in emotional importance, and 
as I read such entries as "Aureoles, Attention To" and "Household Objects, 
Unconventional Uses For", I could easily imagine Juri's voice dictating to 
me the techniques on how to be a better lover.
        As usual when reading The Book, I could feel a building flush 
creep over my face and body as I studied the erotic writings.  It never
failed to amaze me just how -much- experience Juri of Avalon had managed
to accumulate, and in four decades of married life with the Red Knight,
Carl and I had hardly fully plumbed the depths of her knowledge.  Not
for the first time, I found myself wondering what things Juri had left 
-out- from The Book.  If the entries in The Book were any indication, the
remainder secreted within her safe at her old school would have to be... 
quite astounding, to understate things.
        I found myself fantasizing about what some of those techniques 
could be as I continued to read.  When sufficently motivated, I had 
learned that I could have a rather dirty little mind, and so engrossed was 
I in pondering possibilities that I lost track of time.  It was only when I
heard a knock at the door leading to the little library that I realized
how much time had passed; I jerked my head upwards from the book to regard
who had just entered.
        What I saw nearly shocked the life out of me.
        "Corrine?  Oh, there you are," said the figure, clad in curvaceous 
red plate armor trimmed with gold.  "It's about time for bed," she 
continued in a slightly husky voice, which trailed off as she realized 
that I wasn't paying attention to her words at all.  "... what is it?"
        "...j...j-*juri*?!" I stammered, flabbergasted.  "... i-is that 
you?" I managed to ask, even as the small rational part of my mind rapidly 
reminded me that neither Juri was quite in the position to waltz into my 
private chambers unannounced.
        The woman in red armor blinked emerald green eyes, clearly 
confused.  "Juri?  Where?" she asked, looking around the room and back 
over her shoulder, orange-gold hair in vertical curls bouncing slightly
with the motion of her head.  "There's nobody out there, dear; are you
sure you're not seeing things?  Do you need to see Doctor Tofu?" she said
with concern in her voice.
        I shook my head, dumbstruck.  Somehow, I summoned enough presence
of mind to set The Book aside and take a step out of my chair; the 
apparition in red took a step forward as well, raising her arms towards me.
I hesitated for a moment, not willing to believe what my eyes were 
reporting, so I called upon the power of the Pattern to look at the figure
in front of me.  Whoever she was, she did not have the imprints of the 
Patterns of Avalon, which I had learned and studied by observing Juri of 
Avalon with Pattern Sight.  Nor did she have the native Metal, Water, and 
Air Pattern imprints of my blood-sister.  Instead she bore the Fire 
Pattern imprint of Ember, the Pattern that I had redrawn and etched within 
myself at a level no mere walker could ever accomplish.  In fact, this 
person -had- the same level of Fire Pattern imprint as I did, which was 
decidedly odd.
        Only one other person in Reality had that level of Fire Pattern 
imprint, and when it dawned on me, I drew in a quick breath of surprise.
        The woman standing in front of me... was my husband.
        "... carl?" I asked, quietly, waiting for confirmation.
        The redheaded woman smiled slightly.  "Yes, Corrine?  I'm glad 
you've remembered my name, and all..."
        I nodded, dumbly.  "... i could never forget it, dear..." I then 
shook my head rapidly, trying to clear it.  "Good unicorn and pyricorn, 
Carl, what's -happened- to you?"
        Carl blinked, and scratched the back of her head.  "What's 
happened to me?  How do you mean?"
        I raised my left index finger, and mutely pointed towards his 
torso.  The taller woman blinked, and then glanced downwards at herself.
        There was a rather uncomfortable silence between the two of us,
as the Red Knight's green eyes widened with what had to be surprise, and 
she made a little "hrlgk" sound as she looked down at the curves of her 
armor protecting her decidedly not-flat chest.
        "I think... we need to have a little talk, Carl," I managed to say.
        The Red Knight nodded, looking about as I felt.  "I... think that 
would be wise, Corrine," she admitted.  Together we moved over to sit next 
to each other on the nearest couch.  As we walked, I reached over with my
left hand to hold her right; the returning touch was tentative and unsure,
but I held on anyway, helping her down next to me.
        "Carl, what's happened to you?" I asked again, my voice having 
gotten quieter now that we were closer together.  "How did you..." I 
gestured frantically at her armored female form.
        Her brow furrowed, lost in thought.  "I'm... not entirely sure 
myself, love... I've spent most of the day checking over Arshes Nei's 
dragons and Sparky; I joined them for dinner, then came up here."
        I nodded, quietly.
        "I haven't shapeshifted for ages, either, so it couldn't be that," 
she continued in a quietly musing tone.  "Unless..."
        "'Unless' what?"
        "Corrine?  What were you doing, who were you thinking of before I 
entered?"  The Red Knight looked at me with those remarkable green eyes of
hers, and I fought hard (and failed) to supress a blush.
        "eh?  I was just reading..." My voice trailed off and I stared, 
looking over at my bound copy of Juri of Avalon's book.  "... ohmigod," I 
finished in an extremely small voice.
        Carl glanced over at the white-bound book, and her slim tangerine 
eyebrows went up.  She slowly nodded, as comprehension dawned on her 
features.  "Well.  That would appear to be the answer, then."
        "but... but carl..." I tried to protest, but such things seemed
futile, as I knew full well what my husband was implying.
        I had done quite a bit of study on the nature of the Patterns and 
how they were bound to their defenders and vicea-versa, ever since my ill-
fated walking of the Wood Pattern.  While I could not profess to be an 
expert on the Lore of the Pattern, like Grandfather, Derith, Drake, or 
Juri, I did know a few things above and beyond what the average Amberite
knew about the Pattern Knights.  The first was the reason for the 
existance of the Knights in the first place; unlike the Pattern Ghosts 
that could be generated by any of the Patterns, the incarnate defenders of 
those glowing sigils were a lot more durable and free-willed than a 
hastily thrown-together ghost.  They were not at the risk of immediate 
disintegration by being poked by a Logrusfoil; they were tough enough that 
barring the destruction of their Pattern by hostile forces, they would 
survive and come back, still alive and capable of kicking the ass of 
whoever had threatened their charge.  
        Another thing that I knew was that the Pattern Knights possessed 
the ability to shapeshift, to assume a form that was sexually attractive 
to whomever they associated with.  While not always used, it did come in 
handy when trying to convince somebody to pay attention to their words.  
The Green Knight, Hiko's husband, had used both a male and female form 
before their marriage, therefore it stood to reason that Carl, once he had 
been created, had the same ability.  
        However, to the best of my knowledge, Carl Harold had never seen a
need or had a desire to -assume- a female form; his first interactions with
me had been quite delightfully male.  According to the histories of Ember, 
he had only appeared in male armor with a male voice, as long as he had 
existed within the kingdom.
        That is, until now.
        My mouth worked at empty air for several moments, until I found my
voice again.  "... ohmigod, carl, i'msorry, i'msorry, didn't mean to do 
this..."
        Carl arched a curious eyebrow.  "What's there to be sorry about,
Corrine?  You are no less my wife and Queen, and I am no less your husband 
and Knight than I was before, even in female form... "  She glanced down 
at herself again, and a rather fetching blush crossed her cheeks.  "... 
though I do admit the choice of bodies that you seem to have decided to be 
attracted to is rather surprising yet totally expected at the same time."
        I made a little "hrlgk" sound, similar to the one the Red Knight 
had made earlier.  I tried to speak more, but the words refused to come.
Carl noticed my discomfiture, and pursed her lips in thought.
        "Hm.  I should probably change back.  It'll make things easier for
the both of us."
        I mutely nodded, and then watched, wide-eyed, as my husband closed
her eyes and metal and flesh rippled and shifted, changing from that
curvy female form to a slightly taller and ruggedly handsome male body.
He opened his eyes, and his irises were now amber-colored, just as I 
remembered.  He let out a sigh of relief as he glanced down at himself and
confirmed that all the right parts were in the right places.
        "Everything all right, dear?" I asked, quietly.  "Um... everything
where it's supposed to be?"  I made a quick glance down towards his waist 
that I didn't bother to hide.
        "-Much- better, thank you, Corrine," the Red Knight admitted, a 
slight smile on his face.  "And... yes... yes, everything is in its proper 
place.  You'll be relieved to know that your husband is once again 'well- 
hung', as you prefer."
        "-Good-," I emphatically replied, and then I fell against his 
side, leaning against him as I wrapped my arms around his armored waist.
He blinked at my sudden action, but didn't chastize me for it, instead 
working his arms around me to pull me into a gentle, safe embrace.
        "You're still troubled, Corrine?" Carl murmured, nuzzling into my 
hair.
        "You could say that, dear... you could say that."  I paused, and 
glanced up at him as a thought occured to me, distracting me from my 
worries.  "You know, for a guy who just several minutes ago was a tall 
leggy redhead, you seem to be adapting remarkably well.  Most guys I 
suspect would either immediately freak out or go and admire themselves in 
a mirror.  Or go off and try to get off on themselves, or get some 'hot 
girl-on-girl' action."
        "Well, I am not 'most guys'," the Red Knight pointed out, quietly 
rueful.  "Though I must admit, being a woman is an unfamiliar experience 
for me."  He glanced down at his chest, and then over at mine.  "For one,
how do you handle having all that extra mass up front, Corrine?  I was 
able to walk without major problems, but I suspect that I would be 
hampered in combat if I tried to fight while having breasts.  Not without 
much more sword practice in that form."
        "You get used to it, Carl," I dryly repled.  "Believe me, you get
used to it."
        Carl chuckled softly.  "I imagine I would if I did.  But not unless
you wanted me to, Corrine."  
        I stiffened slightly in my husband's arms, and then sighed, sagging
against him.  "But I love -you-, my Knight... I love -you-," I murmured
quietly, closing my eyes and balling one hand into a fist.  I gently 
hit that fist against his chest armor, more out frustration against my own 
troubled feelings than any expression of hostility towards Carl.  "Dammit,
I -love- you!"
        "Yes, you do.  But you love others as well, Corrine," my husband 
reminded me as he stoically weathered the blows.  "If there is somebody in 
Reality or Shadow with more love within her for her family, I don't know 
of them."
        "Yes, but just because I love my family, frustrating as some of 
its members may be at times, doesn't mean I'm -turned on- by any of them, 
or want to have sex with them!" I quietly exclaimed, still curled up 
against Carl and hitting his chest.  "I'd -like- to think that I'm more 
well-adjusted than that!"
        "Yes, you are," he pointed out, and one gauntleted hand 
intercepted my fist before it could hit his armor again.  I looked up at 
him, startled, my eyes wide.  His armored fingers worked their way around 
my own to gently grip my hand.  "You've weathered everything that fate 
transpired to throw against you over the centuries, and grew stronger 
because of it.  Strong enough to be -worthy- of ruling a Kingdom such as 
Ember, despite your protestations.  Wise enough to balance the needs of 
Family and Kingdom, well-adjusted enough to raise two lovely daughters and 
to adopt another and to treat her as your own. 
        "But even you know that there are different degrees of love, yes?
The love you hold for, say, King Tylor, Princess Utena, Prince Shizumaru 
or Princess Hiko is different from that which you hold in your heart for 
Princess Juri, your sister."
        I managed a jerky nod.  "Yes... yes, that's true," I admitted.  
Juri, my blood-sister, alone among all my other siblings, had supported me 
during my darkest hours after the Twilight of the Cimbri, pulled me back 
from the abyss of self-hate and self-destruction that I had found myself 
falling towards, reassured me that despite her external shell of 
rationality and coolness that she did love me as a sister with all her 
heart and soul.
        I loved my sister Juri, with all my being, and both Carl and I 
accepted that.  We knew at the same time it could never impact on the love 
we had for each other as husband and wife, on the bond we had between us,
deep in our hearts.
        "But... what of Juri?  Juri of Avalon?" I asked, in a muted,
troubled whisper.  "She's my sister, too... sister in spirit, if not in 
blood..."
        Carl smiled down at me, and his free hand worked its way through
my hair behind my crown, down my back and along my side, giving me a 
careful, comforting caress.  "I'd have to say she's more than that to you, 
now.  At least, within your heart."
        I shivered, both at my husband's touch and what his words implied.
"But, Carl... you -know- me.  You know I haven't looked at other men, not
in such a way to lust after them, and I'm -not- turned on by women.  I can 
recognize attractiveness in both genders -- how else would people determine
what's right for them? -- but it's not like I'm about to start a -harem-,
for Pyricorn's sake.  Of men OR women," I hastily amended.
        The Red Knight chuckled softly.  "No, you're not, despite what the 
rumors say otherwise."
        I rolled my eyes.  "Oh, don't bring -that- up again," I muttered.
One of the more annoying side-effects of my reign, I had learned, was the
nearly incessant rumor-mongering that surrounded every little action and
decision I made, especially those that -didn't- have a bearing on the 
operation of the kingdom.  "Oh, gee, just because I ran around with 
Roderick and Gideon and Juri during the Crisis and was friends with them, 
that of course means I've had them secreted away as my personal love 
slaves up on the fifth floor of Castle Ember.  Oh, -please-.  If anything, 
if I'd had them hidden away for forty years, you'd think I'd be -happier-,
knowing where they were at all times..."
        My voice trailed off, as my words reminded me that I still had no 
idea where the trio had ended up, ever since their disasterous departure 
from the Keep of the Five Worlds, courtesy of the machinations of Black 
Unicorn Fiona.  I sighed, and leaned my head against Carl's shoulder.
He noticed my change in mood, and moved his arm to support my leaning,
gently gripping my far shoulder in return.
        "Dammit, I miss her," I quietly stated.  "I miss her, and I want 
her back so much that it -tears- at me, Carl.  Perhaps..." I admitted in a 
hushed whisper, "... perhaps even moreso than I want sis back.  But I 
can't have either of them back; it's not within my power, no matter how 
hard I've tried, no matter how much our daughters have searched for 
them."  I closed my eyes, and I could feel a tear trickle down my cheek.
        "You love them both," my husband murmured, "and your heart and 
soul aches for their return."
        "Yeah," I softly replied.  My heart felt heavy and tired, but I 
knew that Carl spoke the truth.  I loved both my sisters Juri, perhaps as 
much as I loved Carl... or was it just a different type of love, bonds of 
sisterhood and comraderie, instead of husband and wife?  I knew that Carl 
had never begrudged me my feelings for my closest sisters; he knew how 
much they meant to me, and didn't feel jealousy when I expressed my love 
for them in more than casual terms.  I would have noticed if he had.
        But the Red Knight was right.  Deep in my heart, I knew that the 
love I had for both my sisters was at the same level I had for my 
husband.  Different 'flavors', perhaps, but still powerful, all the same.  
But if that was so, why the sudden change in my feelings for Juri of 
Avalon?  When had it transformed from sisterhood to something more than 
that -- to desire and longing for her, in both a spiritual and physical 
fashion?  Or had it been a sudden change at all?  And what did this say
for my own sexual preferences?
        I didn't have easy answers for any of these questions.
        I let out a little sound of contemplation, a "hrn" sound in the
back of my throat, and Carl looked at me, curiously.  "Okay.  So."
        "Hm?"
        "It's pretty obvious to me that -somehow-, I love Juri of Avalon 
enough that should we ever meet again, you'll probably have hold me back
from jumping her bones while in the middle of the Great Hall.  Never mind 
the fact that I'm as Straight as a particularly straight arrow... at 
least, I -thought- I was," I stated with remarkable frankness.  Then 
again, I was talking with my husband in the depths of my inner sanctum, so 
why shouldn't I?  I continued to talk, Carl sitting next to me and 
listening patiently.
        "Unicorn knows sis was a lesbian, and probably would've been 
bisexual if it wasn't for Ludovicus; not that she particularly got all 
that noticeably aroused, anyway.  Not in public.  Juri of -Avalon- was 
definitely open about her sexuality, at least moreso than sis was, and 
probably would've punched in the teeth of anybody who took her to task for 
it if Roderick didn't beat her to the punch.  And I'm not about to go into
the rumors surrounding mom's own preferences, nevermind I could tell that 
mom and dad did love each other despite their arguing.
        "But I've never begrudged them any of that.  Their sexuality is, 
and has always been, their own business, not mine."
        Carl nodded.  "One of the things that I've always found admirable 
about you, Corrine.  Your willingness to accept other people's sexual 
practices, such as our eldest daughter's, as long as nobody's hurt by 
them, on either side of the equation.  Which I admit, is hard for others
and those involved to sometimes evaluate."
        I let out a dry chuckle, quietly agreeing with my husband.   
"True.  It's just when people start rumormongering and ridiculing a person 
or couple for their sexual choices -- THAT'S when I get torqued off about 
it.  If I had a Silver Crown for every blunt aside Saionji made about sis, 
I'd be the richest woman in Ember by now."
        "But you -are- the richest woman in Ember, Corrine," the Red 
Knight replied with a wink.  I rolled my eyes, and playfully punched Carl
in the shoulder.
        "You -know- what I meant, dear."  But I smiled, all the same.
        "Yes, I know, my love," he replied with an indulgent smile, 
recovering from my blow.  He then looked thoughtful.  "So, what I think 
you're getting at is that given your direct family's history, the 
-potential- for a same-sex relationship on your part was there, but never 
expressed, due to your sister's examples, your own history, and the 
general social climate at the time."
        I considered my husband's words, and then nodded.  "That's... about
right, actually.  I'd never really THOUGHT about having a relationship on
same-sex terms, since ever since Harold was killed, I kept looking for 
somebody who was close to the ideals I had formed during our budding 
relationship and sexual awakening... and part of that ideal included the 
'fact' that my partner -had- to be male.   And of course, finding a 
-perfect- match for that 'ideal' was impossible, even when searching in 
Shadow... because there'll always be details that catch you off guard when 
you least expect it.  Shadows can never match up to the ideal formed 
within our heads, even for those of us with power over Shadow... at least 
until you came along, of course.  And you're -certainly- no Shadow," I 
added with an induldgent grin.
        The Red Knight nodded in agreement, and chuckled softly.  We had 
both long since come to terms with the fact that Carl Harold, the Red 
Knight of Ember, had been templated on my memories of Harold Kusanagi, my 
first lover from the time of the Second Cimbri War.  It was a non-issue 
between us, for there were more than enough differences between the two, 
accumulated through circumstance and chance, that Harold was by now just a 
fond memory, a loving reminiscence in my heart.  Carl, even with the 
threads of familiarity that continued to run through him to this day, 
tying him to my first love, would now and forever be my true soulmate and 
husband.
        "So yes," I continued, "The -potential- for such a relationship 
was there, but never expressed.  Not until Juri of Avalon came along.  But 
-why-, Carl?  Why her, why me, why -now-, of all times, and not before?  
Unicorn knows there were plenty of opportunites for Juri and I to get it 
on during our travels across the universes and during the Crisis, but I 
sure as hell wasn't feeling turned on by her -then-..."
        "I think you already know the answers to that, Corrine," the Red 
Knight replied softly, without rebuke.
        I thought over what those answers could be, for several minutes.  
My husband continued to sit next to me, a warm reassuring presence, as I 
gathered my thoughts.  Finally, I began to speak, haltingly at first, but
then more smoothly as I grew more comfortable with the topic once again.
        "I think... at the beginning... we didn't try anything because we 
reminded each other too much of our respective sisters at the time -- when 
the Questing Beast transitioned the two of us to Prince Julian's Arden.  
She was almost, but not quite, like Juri... and I was like Darako, perhaps 
more alike than she or I have ever wanted to admit.  But because of the 
circumstances of our meeting, we -had- to trust each other and work 
together, otherwise we'd never get back home to our respective universes.
Vialle's trump statues probably planted the seed for the two of us 
considering each of us to be sisters, though naturally there was reticence 
on Juri's part to the idea, given just how recently she'd killed Darako in 
heated blood.  Not that I blame her... Dar -was- a bitch, from what she 
said and who I met, and if I was in Juri's place, even if allowed to be 
myself, I probably would have wanted to throttle Darako just as badly," I 
ruefully commented. 
        "But then again, I suppose every one of us privately hopes that 
people are better than they present themselves to be; that they really 
-aren't- all out to get you.  It makes life more bearable.  But I'm 
getting sidetracked," I admitted with a slight blush forming on my 
cheeks.  "I'm avoiding the issue at hand."
        Carl smiled at me, and made a slight gesture of acceptance with 
his free hand, and I continued my musings.  "So, we joined up with 
Ishmael's crew in hunting down the damn MacFinndos and Fido... and 
Roderick was with them.  And despite his original casual macking, I could 
tell that he was starting to develop feelings for Juri, and she in turn 
for him, and my heart cried out in hope and joy for the two of them to 
form a true relationship, and I definitely didn't want to impinge on 
that.  Unicorn knows -Juri- certainly needed it!  And my association with 
Juri was shifting from just being acquanted with her to becoming friends 
with her; she was no mere Shadow of my sister, but a fully worthwhile 
individual to know in her own right.  And in turn, she had warmed to me, 
no longer seeing me as a strangely tanned and more civil version of 
Darako.  We no longer looked at each other as possible replacements for 
our missing sisters, but somebody to know and care for on our own terms -- 
as a friend or a sister, not a lover or a shadow.  
        "Besides, I knew you were waiting for me back home, and I wanted 
to be back in your arms -badly-, so the possibility of myself and Juri 
becoming lovers certainly didn't present itself to me at the time.  And, 
of course, by the time the Second Day of Darkness rolled around, Juri and 
Roderick were lovers, she and I were calling each other sister, and BOTH 
of us ended up pregnant by our respective lovers after the wrap party."  
        I watched as I saw a fetching blush grace the Red Knight's cheeks,
and I reached a hand over to tickle him through one of the joints of his 
armor.  I laughed as he made a sound of surprise, and then he retaliated, 
tickling me back effortlessly even given the armor that he wore.  Even to 
this day, it still amazed me that Carl could sometimes be so embarrased 
about how much sexual activity we were involved in; of course, my husband 
was more than willing to return the favor in turn when the opportunity 
presented itself.  It was just one of his many charms.  
        "So, what other alternatives did there appear to be?" I asked the 
room rhetorically, once our breif ticklefest concluded, with me leaning 
against him once more.
        "To the casual observer with any -sense-, none at all," Carl smiled
down at me, cradling my body in his arms.  "You and I were all but married,
as were Juri and Roderick, and both of you had children on the way."
        I nodded.  "Exactly.  And during the time between the end of the 
Crisis, and their departure from our universe... well, there was certainly
no need or cause to call into question the connections we'd chosen for 
ourselves.  Juri and Roderick were happy, and you and I were happy, and
the bad guys were beaten."
        My husband held me close.  "And then came the time for you and
Juri of Avalon to part ways.  For her to return to her home, with her own 
family and loved ones."
        I closed my eyes and sighed, leaning into his embrace, needing his 
support once again.  "I don't think it'd fully sunk in that they were 
-leaving- me, not until that moment.  Not until Juri and I had to say our 
goodbyes, and if I could have dragged them out forever just to get her to 
stay, I would have.  I think... perhaps then... that's when my Love for 
Juri of Avalon truly -crystallized-... when I finally realized that I 
Loved her, and perhaps could love her -that- way, as a Lover, and not just 
as a sister."
        I continued speaking, in a small, quiet voice.  "But I couldn't 
say anything; how -could- I, Carl?  Juri'd just found out she was 
-pregnant-, and she and Miki and Kozue and Madoka were having their 
tearful goodbyes, and Wasyuu and Gideon were making their peace with one 
another.  I didn't want to -hurt- any of them... Juri, Roderick, Gideon... 
especially given they were just about to head out back to Gideon's Keep 
and Avalon.
        "and then they were gone.  just like that."
        Carl made a consoling sound in the back of his throat, but 
otherwise said nothing, as we sat together in silence for several minutes.
        Finally, I spoke again in a tired voice, opening my eyes and 
looking up at Carl.  "And... I guess that's how it happened.  I'm sorry."
        The Red Knight blinked, honest confusion written on his features.
"Sorry?  Whatever for?"
        "For not being as faithful to you as I thought I was being.  For 
finding out my sexual preferences and moral high ground weren't all I made 
them out to be.  For letting this linger and stay buried for so long.  For 
dumping all this on you at once.  I dunno.  You probably think I'm nuts 
for even bringing this up..."
        A rueful smile slowly graced my husband's face, and he reached 
over with one gauntleted hand to support my chin, cradling it with his 
fingers.  "No, I don't, Corrine.  And your faithfulness has never been in 
doubt.  Not to me."
        It was my turn to blink now, confused.  "Huh?"
        "Corrine?  I have never blamed you for the loves you hold in your 
heart.  For what choices you've made, for what you've desired.  As long as 
we've been together, you've been up front and honest with me, and more 
importaintly, you've been honest with -yourself-.  What more could any man 
or woman ask?"
        "For their spouse to not be so screwed up in the head?" I quipped
automatically.
        Carl laughed, and shifted me in his arms so that I was facing him 
fully, sitting on his lap.  "No.  To have someone such as you in love with 
them, body, mind, and soul.  And for that, I'm very lucky, and very 
glad... and I'm certain that Juri of Avalon would be too, and that your 
sister would be happy that all this is still possible."
        I considered my husband's words, and it dawned on me that he was 
right.  It -was- a rare and precious thing to be in love with somebody to
the degree that Carl and I shared, or that for which I felt for Juri of
Avalon.  And the love I had for the two of them would not impact on the
love I had for my sister.
        I finally smiled, and pulled myself the rest of the way into his 
arms.  "You're right.  I just hope... I just hope that one day, I'll be 
able to tell them that."
        "Who can say?" the Red Knight replied, and pulled me up in his
embrace, so that we were looking at each other, eye to eye.  "But know 
this, my Queen..." he whispered, our faces close together.  "I love you, 
Corrine.  You and I are one, now and forever.  And that will never change."
        I blushed, and nodded.  I whispered back, looking into his caring 
eyes with love and trust.  "I know, my Knight.  I love you, Carl.  Now and 
forever, I am yours."
        We kissed, and no more words needed to be said.

***

        I considered my husband's words, both those of his current offer 
to 'become' Juri of Avalon for me (in body if not mind), and those words 
spoken long ago in my private library when we had realized that I -did- 
love Juri of Avalon in a sexual fasion.  It was still staggering for
me that he was making the offer to me in the first place; after all, I 
knew full well that -his- self-image was rather male, born of nearly six
hundred years of living in his current shape.  To willingly offer to 
change his form to Juri's for an extended period of time, just to make me 
feel better... it was a symbol of just how much trust and love he had for 
me.
        Given that, how could I do anything -but- accept?
        I looked down at my love, and reached over with my left hand, to
run my fingers through his ash-brown hair.  His eyebrows went up at my 
touch, and I felt a blush on my cheeks forming as I spoke, a slight, 
tentative smile on my lips.  
        "I think... I'd be willing to give it a try, Carl."  I leaned down
over him, my chestnut hair falling down around my face in waves to frame
it, shading his own face as I gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.
        Carl blushed slightly, even as he returned my kiss in kind.  "As 
you wish, my Queen.  As far as you wish to take things, I am willing."
        My blush increased, as a new facet of my husband's offer presented 
itself.  I managed a sheepish, somewhat embarrased smile and I pulled back
slightly, not out of revulsion or criticism but out of a simple need for 
space to frame my thoughts.
        "Ah... flattering as the offer is, Carl... I don't think either
of us is ready to take things that far.  Not 'All The Way', even though 
with one way of looking at it, we already -have-, given we're married and
all."  I managed a rueful smile as my husband looked up at me, 
attentitively.  "Even though we're husband and wife, and it'd certainly 
be -legitimate- from a legal standpoint... it'd be like trying to make 
love to a Shadow of Juri of Avalon.  And I wouldn't want to stain my 
memories of her that way.  It'd be a disservice to Juri... both my sisters 
Juri, to Roderick, and to you and me.
        "If there's -ever- going to be sexual relations between me and 
Juri of Avalon... or between you in Juri-form and me... I'd much rather 
there be a discussion of the entire topic, no matter how uncomfortable it 
might be, between all those who would be directly affected by our 
relationship.  I have no desire at all to hurt Roderick or Horatia with me 
being inconsiderate of their feelings, or my sister, doing them harm by 
thinking only of myself."
        I paused for a moment.  "I suppose we could probably get up to 
Petting, -if- that... but it'd be a stretch.  I wouldn't complain much if 
it happened, though," I admitted with an embarrassed smile.
        Carl smiled, and released what I'm pretty sure was a slight sigh 
of relief.  I chuckled mentally at the sight.  "I understand, Corrine.
So, shall I?"
        I took a deep breath, and settled back slightly on the pillows of 
our bed.  "... whenever you're ready, Carl," I murmured.  He nodded, 
reclined further on the bed, and closed his eyes.
        I watched, both fascinated and disturbed, as the change came over 
my husband.  I knew that he was capable of such a feat, and I was not 
unfamiliar with the abilities of shapeshifters in general, but this was 
the first time I had ever seen the process in detail so closely.
        Tanned skin rippled, his flesh lightening to a more pinkish shade,
but still healthy, clear and free of noticeable blemishes.  Ash-brown hair
lengthened over the shoulders and back, the color changing to a 
heartbreakingly familiar tangerine shade as it twisted itself into sausage 
curls that framed a face that was trading one set of facial planes for 
another, from rugged handsomeness to aquiline beauty.  Clothing shifted, 
still red silk pyjamas, but automatically adjusting for slimming limbs, 
narrowing waist and shoulders, widening hips, and an expanding chest.
        Within moments, the well-built and solid man who had been lying 
next to me in my bed had been replaced by a beautiful, fit, trim woman.
She opened her eyes, and emerald irises met my own blue ones as they 
looked at me with obvious concern.
        "Corrine?" the Red Knight asked with a soft, slightly deep, husky 
voice, a voice that was eminently suitable to the body that had produced 
it.  A voice that I had only heard in dreams and memories for the past 
forty years.  
        I said nothing in reply, just reaching forward with my left hand 
to trace my fingers across the lines of her face as I studied it.  Carl 
blinked, but she held still as I performed my examinations.  She had a 
slim, oval shape to her face and high cheekbones, tapering elegantly down 
towards the curved point of her chin.  Delicate but capable lips beneath
a slim, straight nose, perfectly centered between her cool green eyes.  
Narrow gold-orange eyebrows arched above her eyelids (her eyelashes were 
thick and demure, I offhandedly noticed), set beneath a high forehead where
her flaming crown of hair began.
        My fingertips brushed against a slight scar, set about a quarter
inch above her left eyebrow, and it was then that I knew my husband's 
attempt had succeeded.  My blood-sister, Juri of Amber, had never possessed
such a scar.  Only Juri of Avalon possessed such a blemish, which I had 
noticed in our brief time together during our cross-universal adventures 
and the time after the Crisis.  But I had never gained the will to ask how
it had been created, since I figured Juri would tell me the story if it 
was importaint.
        My hand trembled, still resting against the Red Knight's face, my 
eyes widening slightly as I took in the vision laying next to me.  My 
husband lifted her own right hand to meet my left, her fingers interlacing
with mine.  I could feel the sword calluses brushing against my own, the
beating of her heart calm in comparison to my racing pulse.
        "Corrine?  What is it?" she said, careful and cautious, as she
lowered my hand from her face.  "... should I change back?"
        I shook my head, mutely.  I could feel the tears gathering at the
corners of my eyes, barely held back.  "... no... please..." I managed to
choke out, quietly.  "... stay this way for a little while?  For me?"
        The Red Knight nodded with understanding, and spread her arms out 
towards me.  The dam broke, and I collapsed forwards into her embrace,
clutching my arms around her torso, my head resting against her right 
shoulder above one full breast as I started to cry.  My sobs soaked her
pyjama top, but she apparently ignored it, instead pulling me closer so
her hands could run through my hair and down my back, gently caressing my
skin through my nightgown in an attempt to soothe me.
        "...oh unicorn and pyricorn i miss her so much, carl..." I warbled
between my tears, muffled by our closeness.  "... miss them both... -need-
them both... want juri -back-..."
        The Red Knight just nodded gently, her orange-gold curls brushing
against my own chestnut locks, and she gave me a small kiss on the 
forehead.  "You'll get them back, Corrine," she murmured softly, reassuring
me with the sound of her voice, the scent of her presence.  "Even if it 
takes a millenium or two.  Our daughter won't rest until you're reunited.
Until then, we'll do what we can to soothe your heart."
        I nodded jerkily, quietly thankful for my husband's words even 
as they came from a female throat.  I barely managed to whisper a "thank
you... love you..." back to her before succumbing to another round of 
crying in her arms.
        There was a quiet sigh above me, and the Red Knight began to 
murmur wordless sounds, connecting them together into a tune that we had
both sung to Kanna when she was a baby.  It was a Harad lullabye dating 
back to the First Cimbri War, that I had always fondly associated with my 
older sister and remembered her liking.  My tears slowly dried up as I 
listened to the tune, feeling the resonances of her song through the 
closeness of her chest to mine.
        My body began to relax, soothed by Carl's soft words and gentle
caresses.  I let out a loud, shuddering sigh as the tension left my body
and I sank fully into her arms.  She pulled me closer, nestling me against
her.  It was an odd, but not unpleasant, sensation, and I didn't resist.
        "How do you feel now, Corrine?" the Red Knight whispered, her arms
gentle as her slim hands caressed my sides, still holding me close and 
safe.
        "mmmf... better," I replied, my words still muffled by my proximity
to the bountiful curves of her chest.  I shifted my head as I made myself
more comfortable, and felt the skin of my cheek brush against the wet 
stains that my tears had made on her pyjamas.  "... i've made a mess of 
your pyjamas, Carl, i'm sorry..." I murmured softly as I tilted my chin 
upwards to look at her again.
        Green eyes looked back at me, lips and brows quirked in an 
expression of clear bemusement.  "That's all right, Corrine," the Red 
Knight whispered back in that husky voice, shifting down to give me 
another kiss on my forehead.  "We've made worse messes before, remember?"
        I managed a soft, drowsy chuckle.  "... this is true," I admitted,
curling up against my husband's soft, warm, female body.  I could feel the
day's exhaustion finally catching up with me, and I didn't resist it.
        "I love you, Carl," were the last words I said before succumbing 
in full to my need to sleep.
        "I love you too, Corrine.  Always," were the last words I heard 
before conciousness left me.

        I arose from pleasant dreams half-remembered and a sound slumber 
fully deserved into a state of partial awareness that tended to mark the
times I spent a night in the arms of somebody I truly trusted.  I slowly
shifted in the arms of another as my body slowly woke up, its senses 
reporting on the environment around me.  I nuzzled closer to the one who 
had held me through the 'night', the sounds of my nightgown making pleasant
whisperings as it brushed against the soft red silk next to me.  My legs
shifted, still tangled slightly with those of my companion, and I gripped 
the slim torso of my compatriot a little tighter with my right arm.  
        The red silk above my tanned forearm stretched and shifted over 
the curves it contained, highlighting them in the morning light that 
filtered through the bed's canopy and curtains.  That selfsame light lit
a crown of orange-gold curls that graced the upper corners of my vision,
a curving expanse of solid flame that spread about the pillows and 
partially draped over my own chestnut hair.  I moved some more in an
instinctual caress, and the body next to me was warm, soft, and firm under
my fingers, combining both sleek elegance and refined strength into one 
enticing package.
        It was about at that point that my mind realized that I had 
spent the 'night' in the arms of a woman, and a beautiful one at that.  My
body was curled up against her, and I could hear the faint rhythms of 
her breathing, if the slow rise and fall of her full breasts weren't 
indication enough.  Pale skin contrasted with my own tan as slim, strong
limbs continued to hold me in an affectionate embrace, despite my 
compantion's continued slumber.
        For the briefest of moments, I wondered if I was still dreaming,
if this vision of Juri laying next to me was just a fantasy brought on
by my husband's suggestion made the previous evening.  If so, I did not
know if I ever wanted to wake from it!  But my thoughts then reminded me 
of just what that suggestion had -been-, and the realization dawned on me 
that I was sleeping in the arms of the Red Knight, who just happened to be 
in the form of Juri of Avalon.
        This was not necessarily a bad thing.
        I let out a soft, contented sigh, basking in the security and 
warmth I felt in Carl's presence.  He had been right.  Although I probably 
could have eventually gotten to sleep while he had still been in his male 
form, Juri of Avalon's body had been the better choice given my mood the 
previous evening.  Not for the first time in my life, I reflected on how
-lucky- I was to know the Red Knight, to be in love with him and to have
that love returned, to be married to him and and to have children by him.
        Of course, in this form, the thought of the two of us conceiving 
children was ludicrous, but it certainly wouldn't be from lack of trying...
        I blinked, and blushed with embarassment, realizing just exactly 
what fantasies had crossed my mind at that moment.  Apparently the sexual
attraction I had for Juri of Avalon and for my husband while in her body
was stronger than I thought it would be, now that the possibility of such
a union had been presented.
        But that was something best dealt with in the future.  I had gone
long periods (willingly or non) without sex in the past, and I was certain 
that I could abstain from asking my husband to try changing into female 
form just for that purpose.  Besides, despite my newfound awareness of
my attraction for someone of the same sex, my natural inclinations were 
still for the -opposite- sex, and Carl Harold satisfied that mutual need
-quite- handily in his male form.
        I let out a quiet laugh, my mind and heart relaxing from my 
previous bout of nervousness.  Oh, what a universe we lived in, that such 
things were possible!  Relaxing in her arms once more, my upper hand once 
again traced a gentle, innocent caress (or as much as one could manage, 
given the circumstances) along her side: from the top of her shoulder, 
along her ribcage, and down to the side of her hip, doing my best not to 
arouse or awake her unduly.
        I was only partially sucessful.  Carl let out a sound that was 
part sigh, part moan, and shifted in our embrace, pulling me closer to
her as she rolled over to face me, her upper arm returning the caress.  
This had the added effect of pulling my torso against her chest, her bosom 
brushing atop mine as my head was guided towards her shoulder, and despite 
myself a blush rapidly crossed my cheeks once more.
        Once again, I worked to calm my beating heart, but this time I was
somewhat less successful.  Carl's scent was enticing, as was her warm 
body, her soft curves, and caressing hands, so I had to settle on waiting 
for her to stop acting as if she was about to put some of The Book's 
beginning techniques into practice before trying to wake her further.
        Part of me, admittedly, didn't want to.
        This close to her, I could feel the soft exhalations of her breath 
caressing my face as her head tilted slightly, her somewhat dishelved 
sausage curls rolling about her face and behind her head.  Her eyes still
closed, she brushed her lips against my forehead beneath my hair in a 
gentle, tentative kiss.  I smiled at my husband's actions, familiar even 
though she was currently in female form, and nestled my head against her 
shoulder above her breast.  I could feel her warm, steady pulse through
my cheek, and I patiently waited for her to awake.
        Finally, my husband did so.  Thick, demure eyelashes slowly 
opened, revealing sleep-clouded emerald eyes which regarded me with equal 
measures of affection and confusion.  "mmm... corrine?" she asked drowsily,
her quiet voice doing nothing to hide its natural huskiness.
        I chuckled softly as I smiled, and leaned upwards slightly to kiss 
her on the chin.  "Good morning, love... sleep well?"
        Carl considered this question for several moments.  I could almost
see the gears turning within her head; her natural answer of having slept 
very well being interrupted by the realization that despite the fact that 
we were both still clothed (admittedly within soft silk and without 
undergarments in any form), we were also holding each other in an intimate 
embrace while she was a woman.  She blinked several times, awareness of 
this fact becoming more evident on her features, and a very fetching blush 
crossed her cheeks.  I resisted the impulse to laugh out loud at my 
husband's discomfiture, and settled on just smiling warmly as she tried to 
think of an appropriate answer.
        "I... yes, I did, actually," Carl finally said, "though of course, 
I always sleep well when you're in my arms, Corrine."
        I chuckled softly.  "As do I, Carl," I replied, nestling into her 
arms.  "Thank you, my love... your suggestion... I think it actually 
worked."
        A relieved smile crossed my husband's face.  "I'm glad.  You 
definitely needed a comforting presence last night, and I was afraid that 
my usual body was not going to be up to the task."
        I nodded, loosening our mutual embrace to pull back slightly 
without leaving her arms entirely.  With some distance between us, I was
able to study the curves and folds of her red silk pyjamas as they 
sheathed her body; even dishelved as much as they were, there could be no 
doubt to anyone who might enter that this was a very attractive and 
shapely woman in bed next to me.
        I laughed softly, and Carl directed a tangerine eyebrow towards 
me, her expression curious.  "Hm?"
        I looked up at her, bemused.  "Oh, just thinking about what the 
castle staff would say if they happened upon us or tried trumping us right 
now; good Unicorn, and I thought the rumors were bad -before-..."
        The Red Knight coughed, and pulled back as well, looking down at
her female body with equal parts consideration and embarrasment.  "Well, 
tounges would certainly wag.  They'd finally find some grounding in the 
rumors of you keeping a shadow of either of your sisters around.  And 
especially wonder why you were 'cheating' on your loving husband, even 
despite your protestations that he knew and was fine with it."
        I considered that scenario, and laughed.  "Perhaps... perhaps,
Carl.  But you know what?  I don't think I care anymore.  Let the members 
of the court up here and down in Amber whisper behind our backs; we know 
the -truth-... and the truth between us is what matters." 
        She nodded.  "This is true, Corrine.  So very true."  She smiled 
at me, but I could tell there was still some tentativeness to it.  It was 
my turn to direct a curious chestnut eyebrow towards her, and I patiently 
waited for whatever she had to say.
        "Though... I have a feeling they won't be able to get much of an 
opportunity to -do- so, Corrine," she finally said, looking down at me
with her green eyes somewhat sad.
        "Oh?  Why?" I asked honestly, looking up at her.
        "As much as being in Juri of Avalon's body has helped you, 
Corrine..."  She licked her lips, her slim eyebrows furrowed with concern 
as she appeared to work at framing her words.  "... I don't think I'll be 
doing this all that often."
        "Hm?  Well, you're the one who -suggested- it, Carl," I calmly 
pointed out.  "Though, I certainly would never force you to do anything 
you didn't want to do, dear."
       "Oh, I know that and appreciate that, my love.  But that isn't what 
I meant."  The Red Knight rolled back and released me, lifting her arms so 
that she could study her pink limbs and delicate, yet strong, fingers.  "I 
find myself in the odd position of trying to reconcile my expected bodily 
sensations with the actual ones; if I'm not paying attention to the fact 
that my body is female, I can ignore it and carry on, but the slightest 
touch is capable of highlighting to me that this is a vastly different 
body, with different sensitive parts from what I'm familiar with."  Her 
hand lowered to rest above her heart, and I watched as her eyes widened 
and that beautiful blush once again graced her cheeks.  "... Like that one 
right there," she admitted, and coughed, which did nothing to stop her
flushed expression.
       Carl removed her right hand from where she had touched her breast, 
and lowered it to her side.  I reached over with my left hand, and gently 
interlaced my fingers with hers, so as to reassure her.  "As much as I 
want to help you like this, Corrine..." she continued in a soft voice, 
"I'm afraid my self-image is much too male to make it worthwhile to 
emulate Juri of Avalon for you... not for long periods of time, not now at 
least."  She closed her eyes, her expression downcast.  "I'm sorry."
        "That's all right, Carl," I said with a soft smile, pulling up 
next to her again, now taking my turn to reassure my female-formed 
husband.  "Wether male or female, no matter what you do, I will always 
love you, my Knight.  That's a promise."  
        I gave her smooth face a gentle caress with my right hand, and she 
smiled in response as she opened her eyes again, her green irises meeting 
my blue ones.
        "I know, my Queen, I know.  Thank you," she murmured, and lifted 
her left hand to touch the back of my right.  She tilted her head and 
kissed my warming cheek, and I returned the kiss in kind.
        "I love you," we said in unison once we had kissed, and we knew 
that those words were true.
        We lay in bed for several minutes longer like that, just relaxing 
in each other's presence, saying no words between us.  For what needed to 
be said?  We loved each other as freind and lover, husband and wife, man 
and woman (or in this one case, woman and woman), and we had long since 
moved beyond the need to speak out loud our feelings for one another.  
But, to all peaceful times there eventually comes an end, and the Red 
Knight shifted in my arms once more, yawning and making sounds of 
increased wakefulness.
        I released her, and watched as my husband slowly worked herself
up into a sitting position and stretched her arms over her head, causing
her red silk pyjamas to flutter and shift in the bedroom light.  Making
another groan of awakening, she ran her hands through her orange-gold hair 
to get it out of her face, and slid them down her spine, arching her back
to get the kinks out of her joints.
        I tried to remain calm and collected, given Carl's actions.  But 
given the fact that not only her pyjama top was being strained by the 
thrusting forward of her bosom, but also the play of light through the 
draping silk was leaving no question of the details of the body contained 
within it, I found it very hard to keep from thinking impure thoughts.
        "Mrrrrrgghhh," Carl groaned, finally settling back against the 
pillows and headboard.  "I have to say, waking up in this body is 
different, Corrine.  I've not usually had that much trouble with my spine 
upon waking up... how do you all manage to cope with so much mass up 
front?"
        I quietly laughed, recovering my wits yet still studying her 
body as she reclined next to me.  "Like I said a long time ago, Carl; you 
get used to it."
        "I suppose it's a growing-up-female thing?" she asked, considering 
me as I looked up at her.
        "No, it's more of a Ladies of Harad thing," I replied, frankly.
        "Ah," my husband answered.  She yawned again, stretched once more 
(and in doing so didn't notice my returning blush at her actions), and 
then looked down at herself again.  "I suppose I'd best go back to the 
form I'm more familiar with," she finally said.  "Before anything else
comes up."
        "Go right ahead," I said, and I watched with clear fascination as 
she closed her eyes and her body shifted, flesh and fabric rippling like
a stone tossed into a mountain pool.  Skin and hair darkened back to their 
tanned shades, long curled hair shortened back into smoothness, chest 
flattened and widened as muscles became more visibly defined on exposed 
limbs.  Several inches of height were gained, fingers thickened, waist 
widened, and a noticeable bulge formed in the vicinity of narrowing hips.
        Once more my husband sat next to me, in all his male glory.  He 
opened his eyes, and his familiar amber orbs looked down at me as he 
smiled.
        I stared at Carl for several seconds, the images of his change 
still replaying in a loop inside my mind.  I licked my lips as I regarded 
him, my senses registering his closeness and more importaintly his 
-maleness-, and a warmth begain to build within me in my depths.
        It occured to me that I was rather exceedingly turned on.
        "So... how do you feel now, Carl?" I quietly asked as I shifted 
next to him, moving up into a sitting position, my skin starting to flush 
with heightened arousal.
        "Much more 'myself', thank you for asking, Corrine."  He smiled, 
and then blinked curiously, finally noticing the fact that I had drawn 
rather close to him.
        "Good," I murmured, before lifting myself up and over him.
        "C-co-corrine?"  The Red Knight stared at me, even as I swung my
legs over his own, straddling his waist as I pulled myself up to eye level.
        "Carl Harold, I've just spent the night in my loving husband's 
arms while he was in the form of an exceptionally beautiful and sexy woman 
whom I also Love with all my heart and quite possibly would want to Make 
Love to, should we ever meet again and if she was ameinable to it," I 
quietly and patiently explained, my nose brushing against his as I looked 
into his amber eyes.  "And now he's changed back to his exceedingly studly 
and hunky male form, which given my prior state has made me -extremely- 
horny right about now," I continued, my breath hot against his lips, my 
voice husking softly with restrained desire.  "Now, I -quite- recall 
somebody here last night mentioning his desire to take care of -all- of my 
needs... is he going to carry through on that promise, or am I going to 
have to go through today with a lot of pent up sexual frustration?"
        Carl's eyebrows nearly reached his hairline with surprise at my
bald-faced declaration of lustfulness.  "Well... when you put it -that- 
way..."
        I smiled saucily, my hands already working at the button fasteners 
of his pyjama top and doing their best to remove the restrictive red silk 
clothing from his muscular chest.  "-Good-.  Now shut up and kiss me, my 
love, and let's get started before I decide to wax eloquent again."
        Carl laughed, and then did as I asked, the two of us sharing a 
passionate kiss.  His muscular hands reached forward to pull me close 
against him, sliding within the front of my nightgown to directly caress 
and fondle the soft skin underneath.
        As we proceeded to remove our nightclothes from one another, 
touching and caressing and pleasuring each other all the while, a small 
part of my mind wondered what Juri of Avalon was doing right now.  Wether 
or not she had gone through some of the issues I had with my husband about 
whom she loved, wether even now she was with Roderick, dealing with things 
in their own special way.  Part of me hoped that one day we would be 
together again, so we could discuss those issues in full, face to face.
        But until then, she had Roderick, whom I knew she loved and who 
returned that love to her, unreservedly.  
        And I had Carl, whom I loved with all my heart and soul, and who 
loved me with equal measure in turn.
        With that in mind, reassured, I pushed such thoughts from my mind,
and got down to the serious business of showing my husband just how much I 
loved him.
        And then there was just the warmth, and the love, and that was
everything.

FIN

-----

Love's Reflections
A Story of _Unicorn No Seishi_
Written by Philip J. Moyer on 8/14-8/22/2001

Corrine, Queen of Ember, created by Philip Moyer. 
The Red Knight, Protector of the Fire Pattern, created by Philip Moyer and 
John Biles.

Disclaimer: 
This story was inspired by the events on 6/30/2001 in the "Unicorn No 
Seishi" Amber DRPG campaign and the "Through A Mirror Darkly" Amber DRPG 
campaign conceptualized, designed, and Game Mastered by John Biles, 2001.  
No money is being made from this story. It is copyrighted to Philip J. 
Moyer, 2001.